Some Days My Emotions Define Me

Sometimes the sadness is so engulfing it takes over who I am

I don't want it to,

but,

sometimes I can't stop it.

Other times the sadness just turns into anguish

about pasts we can not change

and hurts that can not be undone.

Anger rises in me at 

things I did not have any control over.

It's time to let forgiveness take over,

to find peace in my heart.

For then I will start to know happiness.

I would rather be defined by joy 

than sorrow.

So for now,

my dear God,

please help me to forgive and 

move on.

It's difficult to define who I am

or who I have become

and I have forgotten who I used to be.

I have hidden myself away, so deep,

for so long.

Even I can't find myself amongst the

"sure everything's fine"

and the 

"I'm okay's".

I never realized I was buried

so

deep.

But. Now...

it is time to dig myself out,

to emerge

out of this cocoon of loneliness and emotional

paralysis.

I need help with this God!

Give me your hand and pull me up,

walk beside me 

and whisper in my ear

that I am yours and 

beautifully made. 

Tell me

I am worthy.

Be my saviour once again.